My friends... some girls.

(Hello again world. I will continue my story of my self, and something that is very important to me are my friends. I name them, in case I need to talk about them some more later on. I know for instance, that I will be visiting the Linguista in the obscure country she lives in, in a couple of weeks. So. Well, here is a short introduction of four of my girlfriends, taken from the top of my head.)


Some of my firends are amazing. Or, rather, MOST of my friends are amazing. I had a drunken idea once, that I should create a video of small clips where my friends were stereotypically showed of how they are. I got the idea from watching the Bartender: She's this tiny, sweet, blond girl. She works as a bartender in this scruffy, brown, really shabby place. Most of the people hanging around there are alcoholics, misfits and drugusers. And the average age is about... 40. Once, I was hanging by the bar, this drugged down guy came in, apparantly a regular. My tiny friend goes towards him and shouts "either put on a shirt, or go out". He answers something like "it's cold outside, and I don't have a shirt" or something, but she doesn't back down, and she is actually so fierce that I personally get a bit spooked by her. And I'm really not easily spooked. The guy leaves, and she comes back to me to chit chat about something random. This is her. She is so completely lovable, but at the same time she's really fierce. She also loves. She tries really hard to rule out everything bad in her life, by considering Karma, or by focusing on happy thoughts. She is such a great person, and I really hope she will find someone worth her.

Another friend of mine is in China at the time. This one is possibly my best friend. We've known each other forever - literally. We grew up together. She is the Clever. She is so amazingly clever and strong and focused. She is the only person I know who has finished her studies so quickly, she's always on time (for deadlines, always late for meetings), and she knows everything. When I don't know anything, I either check it out on internet, I ask some friends on MSN or I phone her. She's also very adventourus, even though I would not normally consider her as such. She is a bit rule-bound, but she is letting everything go more and more. And she has travelled alone around Africa for.. I don't know... three months?, and now she will be travelling South/East Asia for half a year. Alone. I admire her so much I sometimes become sad, seeing that she has so many traits I wish I had (dedication, devotion, focus, strenght to love), and I know quite a lot of people compare her and me. They used to, at least. But on the same time, I am so glad for her, for her being such a great individual with so many opportunities and so great a future ahead of her, that I am filled with love. She truly is one of the better people I'll ever know.

I also have another friend whom I admire for what she does. She has "gone wild" and studied languages. The Linguista. Everyone was like "oh, poor girl, she'll never get a job" - but she's not even finished studying, and she already teaches at a university in an obscure country. She's always got a boyfriend, she's never single long at a time. She's so filled with strenght in her belief in other people, that she is never let down by smaller or larger disappointements. She is so reflected around things that are going on around her, that it is never boring sitting and just listening to what she finds it compelling to talk about right there. She's also just enough bound to the people around her, and just enough restless, that she always manages to end up in great possibilities in great situations. She knows how to make the best out of her life, and she is sort of not even trying, just manages, to do so. Sometimes she is insecure, she tells me in secret, and I understand what she is talking about. But this insecurity is also what gives her the strong reflection she's got, which in return also makes her so strong and fascinating. She has travelled the world, and she will be travelling more. She is a sort of person that will never stop, she'll just adjust her road to the many people she loves. I hope she'll rub off on me so I can have some of her traits some day.

One friend, who makes me really sad and really happy all at once is the Artist. She makes me happy when she i happy. She got this aura around her that makes it impossible to not feel the same emotion as her. If she is happy, I'm happy. If she is sad, I can't bear it, because her sadness drowns me. She wears her emotions on the outside. She is easily understood, and she is pure. But that is for me who know her. She is always in hiding, and it is devastating to see her as others see her. Some times I think that I don't really know her, and sometimes I think I am one of the very very few who knows her at all. She is so talented in what she does, that is is mindboggingly. There is so much talent in her that it is unbelievable. She is so timid, that sometimes I fear this will restrain her creativity, but I think I am overdoing my concerns. It seems like the only times she is not timid, is when she is working with her art. She pours her whole self in her art, and this is what makes her so great. I do not enjoy many of the people she spends time with, and I do not like her substance use. Sometimes I worry about her. Sometimes I've tried to get her to not be my friend. But she will never go away. She seems to think that she needs me, and she never believes me when I say I need her. I need the love she's got for me. I need the love she's got for her work. I even need the love she's got for everyone around her, even though I might hate them myself. Sometimes, I think I need her, because she is the only one who makes me feel special...

I have other friends too. I have a friend who thinks we are better friends than we are. I have friends whom I admire for their compassion. I have friends whom I love for their weaknesses, and for acknowledging this in themselves. I have friends whom I wish was closer, but where I feel they are not as good friends with me as I think I am with them. I have distant friends whom I love to hang out with. I have close friends I hate hanging out with. All my friendships are different, and all are great. (The last sentence is obviously a lie, not all distant relationships are great, but you catch my drift)

Sometimes, I wish I was my friends, all of them. They are so great, and they help me see my flaws in myself. I enjoy my ability to admire rather than envy. And even though I envy them their strength, their love, their abilities, I love them too much to be really envious. I can only be joyous over how I am able to be friends with such great persons.